Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
