I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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