I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
