I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
