I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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