Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
