Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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