Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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