white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
