suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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