Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
