can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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