I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize