For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
