You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you didnt know i had herpes?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
