You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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