apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
