Whod you bang
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
