im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
