Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
