There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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