I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
