No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
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