it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
