Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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