I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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