It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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