Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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