Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
