I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
