just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
