Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize