there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
