haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
