Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
