I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
