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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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