If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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