well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
