We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize
