i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
