Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Randomize
