Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Fuck appropriateness.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
