Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
