y did u give ur computer a hand job?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
