she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
