I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
