To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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