Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
