it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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